People who suck the life right out of you

[Margarita]

How do you focus on the positive side of someone who always brings you down? Although this individual has no direct impact on me, they do affect my household. I have set back and watched them hurt my husband and manipulate their own child just to send me a message. Mean while I have to deal with a child who is stuck in the middle, who sees mom as the greatest mother on earth and I get to pick up the pieces when he expresses the hurt he is feeling. This person is very selfish and sees the worst in our family. Perhaps this behavior stems from pain she felt in the past- either way I can't understand as a parent how someone could use and manipulate their own child for the sake of someone else. To me my children are a blessing and I will do what ever it takes to give them the tools they need to be the best person they can be ( ie. encourage them, set examples for them, love them no matter what, make them feel good about themselves etc..). Nine years of the same thing and I have finally had enough. This individual makes my stomach churn....So how do I step away from my own personal feelings and perhaps give this individual the love, support and encouragement they may be longing for.I am really hurt, angry and continuesly being disappointed by them. My husband always tells me they will never change and silly me keeps waiting for that one day when they will prove him wrong. The one day this person will grow up.... So, what do I do? I am exhausted.... and my patience is running thin.

[Robert Myers]

In order for people to change years of bad behavior, they must first have a personal relationship with Christ. The only people that I have ever seen make a radicle change in behavior from what you described, to a Non-Self-Centered loving person are people who have been transformed by a personal relationship with Christ. Does this person exhibit patterns of slavery to sin? Does she have a beginning point with Christ (a spiritual birthday)? If the person is a slave, or does not have a point of beginning with Christ, she is probably not saved. If the person does not know Christ you must expect them to operate in the realm of the flesh which is described in Galatians 5. Lower your expectations then of what they "should behave like" and pray for their salvation, asking God to give you the strength to be a consistent minister to her. This is why Jesus taught us to "turn the other cheek." On the other hand, if the person claims to really have a personal relationship with Christ, your common ground as a Christian, and much prayer should allow you to approach her to discuss the problems and correct them. Respond to this and we'll take the next step. P.S. please put your pic on your profile and completely fill out your profile.
Blessings, Pastor Rob

[Margarita]

This person claims to have a relationship with christ. They attend church weekly and participate in a couples bible study group. Does the person have a real relationship with christ - I couldn't begin to tell you. All I know is that with in their household they involve the children in all types of conversations and believe that even adult conversations ( involving the childs other parent) should be conducted infront of the children no matter if it's positive or negative. They also utilize the term "Christians" to reinforce on why what they do is correct. I've always reinforced to this child that actions speak louder then words. As people we should always give to those who we see are in need- no matter if they ask or even if we are using the item at the time. Christ proves to me time and time again that he will provide no matter what. I have never gone without--- If I don't have it always seems to come at the very last minute from the most unexpected places. My main concern is this child. An amazing person with so much potential- it brakes my heart to see him hurt. I have had the privalige of creating a very strong relationship with this child who I love very much. He communicates with me about everything- the good and the bad parts of his day. The hardest part is to not speak in a negative manner about his family and how they conduct their household- thank god he has given me the strength not to. Words are a powerful thing- they either make you or break you.It frustrates me to death to have to sit and watch someone I love as my own be hurt and his spirit crushed. The funny thing of it all is that even when I do something for the child- because they have neglected to do it or even just because (ie. taking the child to the doctors because he has been sick for months, buying him clothing/ shoes because they have holes or just fit ) it is downplayed. They will even go out of their way to let me have it.... just because they feel they can. Uggg..... I really wish we could have this child live with us- I'd take him in a heart beat. This child has even asked if he could live with us every other week. I have tried to give this situation to god and asked him to give me the peace. To take away my anger towards this person. If you haven't been able to tell this is a constant battle. Just when I begin to get motivated to make an impact by setting an example and brushing off everything that has taken place all these years something goes wrong.

[Lori Beth Burstein]

Yeah I know I feel the same way with the religion conflict my parents have. My brother and I are stuck right in the middle. Where my mom wants us to go to church but my dad doesn't want us to go to church because we were raised Jewish. My dad doesn't know Christ and I don't think he will want to know Christ at all. I love going to church to learn more and to be involve to get more connected with Christ.

[Gislaine]

Dear sister, even tought i do not know you, i can related to what you are going through! One thing that got my attentions was what you said: " I am really hurt, angry and continuesly being disappointed by them"....
A couple of weeks ago when i decide to fast and pray for a particular situation in my life, God spoke to me, He should me how hurt i really was and that i had to take care of that before i tried to ( focus on the positive side of someone who always brings you down), He made me realize that the problem was me and not anybody else....; from that point on He start showing me that if i don't give Him me hurts, hard felings, pain and all the other junk , it will be impossible to show people the: (love, support and encouragement they may be longing for:....)
After God spoke to me , He start bringing people to mind and i have had the previlege an oportunity to pray for these people.
He still showing me things in my heart that have to came out and as i knwolged then, i go right before His trone and ask Him to burn it in His altar.
I beleive this is a time when we should spend more time on our knees asking for Hes will and directions.
I 'm praying for you and i know God will work marvelous things in your life, your family's life and the life of this person that God also love very dearly.
It is a honor to be part of your life in pray.
God keep on blessing you and your family.